Regarding the most recent page

This post is spoilertastic if you have not read the most recent pages.  I do not recommend continuing to read this if you are not caught up!

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Still reading?  Okay.  Let's do this.

First off, I'm so sorry.  I know I wrecked a lot of people with this latest page.  I'm incredibly flattered that my writing is apparently powerful enough to have that much of an effect on so many people.  But at the same time, I hate making people sad or angry.  So while it might seem weird for me to apologize, I am sorry.  And due to several reader requests, I will be including trigger warnings for applicable heavy pages from now on.  I don't know if anything else I currently have planned matches this particular level of heavy, but you know, just in case.

Incidentally, like fifteen minutes after posting the page, our internet crapped out, and we still haven't gotten it back (I'm posting this from my local Panera).  When I was last online, there were like three or four comments between all the sites I post at.  Now, less than 24 hours later, this is easily the most commented on page so far.  It took well over an hour to read them all (and in that time, more probably appeared).

Still, with the internet situation, I should get a few things out there while I can.

As with any other time my internet has been down (it really happens way more than it should if I have to say that), this shouldn't affect posts even if this persists into Monday's update.  It shouldn't, but if I am a little late, that's why.  

And again, Monday will be the last page before a week hiatus (although I plan to post some much needed Rain Delays during that time).  I think the cool down will be appreciated.  But at the same time, I know you're all itching to see where this is going.  So Chapter 26 will begin on July 15th.

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Okay, getting to the point: about two years ago, I started telling my friends about an eventual twist in the story.  Never specifically.  No one knew what was going to happen, but I used to call it my "Game of Thrones twist".  I mean, nobody died, but it's still shocking and I figure many readers probably stared with wide eyes for an extended period of time before exclaiming, "DID THAT SERIOUSLY JUST HAPPEN!?"  And even though I knew I wanted to include this for many reasons, it was hard to write and I knew it would be hard to read (I even made myself cry several times).  Furthermore, I feared this might be the kind of thing I could lose readers over.  I've had this scene stressing me out for a long time, but it's also a bit of a relief to see this scene - probably my best kept secret - finally come to life, and to see you all still here.  Thank you very much for that.

I mean, it's still a stressful scene, but now comes recovery.  

I don't know if this makes it easier to swallow, but Rain's haircut was ALWAYS part of the plan.  It was even going to happen in the original fantasy version (flying dagger and all, actually).  There are even quite a few subtle thematic hints throughout the story that foretold this.  Kaminari herself - being symbolic of Rain - is technically a hint with her short hair (if you think about it, Maria has been growing her hair throughout the story to get a ponytail matching Aneko's too).
 
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A small handful of people have actually demanded I take this page down or change it.  I honestly expected more of that, so I don't blame anyone for saying it.  Believe me when I say this scene hurts me too, but I will not remove it.  Even now, I maintain that this story is meant to be primarily positive and uplifting.  But I feel it would be irresponsible of me as a writer (and to some, a role model) to leave out hard possible realities like this.  This shit DOES happen to some people.  It's scary and it's horrible, but it's reality.

That said, this doesn't have to be all bad.  This development is an opportunity to portray a person experiencing something truly awful and traumatizing... and conquering it.  Rain's life is about to get harder, but that doesn't mean she can't overcome this.  As Vincent once said, "She's a tougher kid than she gives herself credit for."  She's got friends and allies, and she's too determined to be herself to let this break her.  

Same goes for you, Rain Beaus.  You are stronger than you may realize.  Don't let anyone hold anything over you.  And if you think you're alone, remember that we're ALL friends here.  Myself and 2,000+ other people watching this page want to see you and everyone else here live positively in the way you want to.  

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So finally, I just want want to say sorry again.  I consider myself a bit of a dark writer (Rain is quite a bit lighter than a lot of my other stuff), but it's not because I want to make anyone sad.  I just want to see my characters conquer terrible adversity, trauma, and heartbreak.  It helps me to remember that I can conquer all of my own troubles too.  And hopefully, I can share that hope and positivity with all of you. ^_^

Thank you for reading my ramblings.  Have a brilliant day, Rain Beaus!  Much love to you all!  <3