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RAIN p283+284 - Selfish by JocelynSamara RAIN p283+284 - Selfish by JocelynSamara
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Not originally meant to be a two-pager, I actually joined these pages together figuring the first one to be kinda too much of a downer to post on Christmas Eve. I know a lot of readers get emotionally invested, and I’d feel horrible if I ruined someone’s holiday. The second page isn’t much cheerier, but at least we get to see the resolution of Aunt Fara telling Aiken what for.

So, um… yeah…

Happy holidays? ^^;

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SwedishKuriboh Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2016
GO FARA!!!! :heart:
NowiGreen Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Its about time he got his own.
FaebornStarseed Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You tell em Fara!
Darklady2831 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow... almost a year later and this page still makes me tear up...
You're an amazing writer Jocelyn~
hereru Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ugh...closed mindedness.

Honestly, why can't some people accept that just because they haven't experienced/aren't experiencing something, that it's not valid? Correct me if I'm wrong, but Aiken's views are shared by an alarming amount of the general populace, yes?
AbiDrew Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013
Indeed.  My own mom thinks that because she can't understand it it can't be real.  Pretty sure that's the gut reaction of one of my siblings who rejected me outright as well.

My mom is...  trying...  in her...  strange way.  Though probably only because she feels obligated to as my parent.  It's what she thinks unconditional love means.  And...  It's close enough that I'm trying to be patient with her.  Even though she drives me absolutely batty with her stupid comments about how I'm hurting myself because of everything I'm doing to change what I was given.
hereru Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That's rough. Human nature, I suppose, but it still bites.

It must be infuriating being told you're trying to "change" what you're given when you feel you've been trapped in the wrong body all along.

Hopefully your family comes around eventually. Stay strong and don't let other people's ignorance break you down.
amyelise16 Featured By Owner May 4, 2013
thediremoose Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
To properly tell someone what for, I would suggest wearing a top hat, a mustache, and a monocle while wielding a cane.
Ryu890 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
O.o I wish more people hat that kind of guts. And arguing skill. Geez. Aunt Fara: Respect: +49237
dolphin64575 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Go, Aunt Fara?
ZorrieInuyama Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
How is Aiken going to take this I winder
jessica2kiv Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012
cdmalcolm Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
SinNightfall Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012
Can't wait for more. To see how Aiken takes it..

great story.
14bj337 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
Aunt Fara's so badass, she can speak in air quotes without even raising her hands.

Seriously, though, Aiken finally has the truth. Rather than pursue a head-on confrontation with "Ryan", he's decided to take the backdoor route, speaking to the only other person who would know, and who would tell him: Aunt Fara. Fara's comment - "you clearly figured it out already, or you wouldn't be asking me that" - sounds like an accurate assessment. The pieces have fallen before him, and Aiken sees only one way to put them together - but it's a picture he can't bear to look at, to acknowledge as reality. Hearing Fara corroborate this picture forces him to recognize the truth. His brother Ryan is a girl named Rain.

The second page goes a bit deeper into some of Aiken's prejudices and struggles. His stumble for pronouns, in regard to Jessie, suggests that his image of his fiance is conflicted. She's the woman he fell in love with, yes, but she's also the man who lied to him and broke his heart. Aiken's future (or lack thereof) with Jessica depends on his ability to communicate with her, to try to understand why she deceived him, and to forgive her for it and accept her as she is. Given Aiken's actions and current disposition, that's kind of a tall order. It'll take a paradigm shift - something beyond Fara's revelation - to give him any chance at a reconciliation.

Aiken's comment: "How can you be born in the wrong body? It's YOUR body. You are you. It's the right body!" makes a surprising amount of sense to me. Perhaps it's because I'm a cisgender young man who has never felt like there was anything about his body he couldn't fix with diet and exercise, but the idea that someone could feel out of place within their own skin, when their body is such an important component of that person (arguably, is that person) doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Then it hit me - feelings don't make sense. Could I explain why I sometimes suddenly break down and cry? Do my feelings of frustration and helplessness help me achieve any goals? What Rain is feeling may not make "sense" to an outside observer, but that doesn't change the fact that her feelings are a reality to her!

Fara describes it: "She was TWELVE, telling me that it hurt and it was lonely and that she hated herself!" The dissonance between what the world was telling Rain to be, and what Rain wanted to be, was tearing her apart. Fara saw that, changed how she saw Rain, and changed how the world saw her, allowing that dissonance to be bridged. She saw the hurt within her niece, and sought to save her from her hurt. Aiken saw how his fiance had hurt him, and abandoned her, in what he thought was saving himself. The question now is: how will he act toward Rain? Will Aiken view Rain as a traitor, someone who's "weird habit" will only cause pain to those around "him", and abandon her? Or will he take Fara's words to heart, and try to help his "little bro" feel a little less hurt, even if it means viewing "him" as a little sis instead?

Aiken is at a crossroads. His actions now will determine whether he reintegrates himself into the family, or becomes even more of the "black sheep" than he already was. He should do some serious thinking and reflecting before he does anything that could only further alienate himself.
CrimsonII Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
I wish I had as much courage as Rain does... and the friends to back me up. I've not told my own family about it, because of how they'd react... sadly, Rain's brother is reacting mildly to how my family would. I don't like lying, but I just can't tell them the truth. My fiance however, does know, as do all of my online friends.

oh... right, feedback ya? I really like the way the story is going in this chapter... I mean, I think that aiken is being a bit of a jerk, but hopefully he'll come around.
tommycurl Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
aiken is a duche wad
AJisChaos Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Student
Wait, was Fara Crying in the first panel?
i can see that she is starting to cry in the second to last. but it seriously looks like she is wiping a tear away.
free-to-be-Gee Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Great Christmas entry!! You've done it again, Jocelyn! Merry Jingle and such to you and your sweetie. :dalove:
JillianNC Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Go Fara! And Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Kizutt Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Gosh, Aiken is just one of those characters I want to punch in the face.
JamieAgathaRose Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is pretty depressing to read. Knowing all too well how a person has to hide themselves, because they're afraid the people around them will hate them for who they really are.

The worst part is, you hide to save them from hating you and then they just end up hating you anyway, even if they don't know what you're hiding. Then you just keep hiding it because it's just another reason for them to hate you more.

If anything that's why I'm pulling for it not to happen to Rain. Or anyone else, really. No one should ever have to go through that...
LittleWolfDreamer Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Professional Writer
Go Aunt Fara!!
LeucisticRaccoon Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh shit. next page please.
transgendergamer Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
If only I had someone like Fara to talk to my mom. 0_o
Ichneumonfly Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
I'm a huge fan of the comic. Keep up the good work! I'm really touched by the events you portray, the characters are very lifelike and it's easy to identify with them. You really have a gift for storytelling.

One question: how do you make the comic? Do you draw everything on the computer using for example Photoshop? Or do you scan first and do other stuff later?
Musicallover1234 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Writer
One other thing I noticed that she's rubbing her eye in the first panel, it makes me wonder if something happened to her.
Musicallover1234 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Writer
Well in some ways this is the perfect page before Christmas because it makes you more aware of your own family and the people you love. That being said its a pretty tough page I can understand what Aiken is dealing with because to him all trans-people lie, but they both did it for his sake and to make him feel happy with them. But on the other hand he has to understand how Rain feels. I hope that he accepts her as she is even if its hard for him to understand her with things like this it take time, I guess we will see what happens. As for you I wish that you have a happy Christmas and that you have happy holidays too.
jeremius310 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Writer
way to go Fara. :)
Elemarth Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Ooh, good pages.
PrincessJessica Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
way to go Aunt Fara
AlekPixi Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Writer
This page (or THES EPAGES jesus christ) are really powerful. You did a great job!
Yukinoposhottie Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student General Artist
Aunt Fara in the first panel looks like she had a rough date. so aiken blowing up about this is all she needs right now. aunt Fara is an amazingly strong person to be able to put her problems aside and deal with other peoples bs.
bless aunt fara. I want her to be my aunt.
PerilsOfRosella Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Professional General Artist
Aunt Fara. If I ever have children (and I hope I do), I promise I will do my best to be just like you- strong and protective for your children.

I'm not religious in the least, but I often hope that if there's a child who's *must* be born transgender, or gay, or some other thing that society at large seems to consider a problem, I hope I'm their parent, so I can give them the love they deserve. I'm not really sure if that makes sense to anyone; I hope it does, and I don't just sound crazy.
Bistar Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012

KnightZero088 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Oooo conflict!
Animasword Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ok, this is the moment. Whatever happens on the next page will decide how Aiken's character will be seen by the fanbase for a long time and whether or not he can be redeemed.
Oh and Fara continues to be awesome. Can't wait for the next update ^_^
LadySerena Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I would hate to be in that room. Love Aunt Fara.
mckenmic Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
um wow.
GodzillaRulz Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Professional General Artist
oh wow i was WAY off.
Labhras Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Go Fara! Also, called it on Aiken's grudge ^_^
CosmicMuffin Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012   General Artist
Aiken, need some ice that burn?
Melingitte Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Go Fara!!! I'm on the edge of my seat, waiting to see how this goes :O
VioletUke93 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Brilliant work ^_^
hershintheflesh Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
i dont wanna know what would have happened if he ran into rain first.

Merry cristmas to all and to all a good fight.
...........i meant to say night.
no i didn't.
red227 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
thanks for dealing with this plot now i hate when people put out a plot hook and don't deal with it for a 100 pages are so.
samrules4 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
hmm... i would have thought you would have dragged it until later, but i guess right now is good too
mayfirerose Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww...... maaannnn. I kinda feel bad for Aiken. I hope he comes to understand Rain a little more. :) Siblings not getting along and not talking sucks.
Elthrain Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I had this convo with a family member today about myself... Hopefully he comes around like my family member did, albeit after breaking down and sobbing in front of him...
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Submitted on
December 23, 2012
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