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RAIN p279 - Flashbacks by JocelynSamara RAIN p279 - Flashbacks by JocelynSamara
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I apologize, but I’m going to go into preachy PSA mode: Speaking as a transsexual, I honestly believe that if you are trans and plan on having a relationship with a cisgendered person (or anyone, really), then it is imperative that your partner know of your transgenderism. This is not a topic to be taken lightly. If you don’t feel like you can tell your partner your deepest secrets - and especially if you don't feel SAFE telling your partner - you might want to consider rethinking things a little.

I understand why transfolk try to hide it. I really do. But I don’t think it’s right, personally. I actually don’t think it’s fair to the cis person (whether they’d be accepting or not), and it’s potentially very dangerous for the transperson. And further speaking as a transwoman happily married to a ciswoman for over four years (and together over seven), I can vouch that having the freedom to talk about the subject at any time with her, has been an incredibly relevant aspect of our relationship. I don’t think we would’ve lasted if I had to keep telling lies and keeping secrets and internalizing all my problems to hide my being trans from her.

[/PSA Mode]

And seriously, sorry for that. I’ve heard too many real life stories of relationships between trans and cis ending really badly for exactly THIS reason to not want to bring it to light.

Anyway, big moment of clarification, as we see into Aiken’s head a little. In your opinion, is the guy completely irredeemable, or might there be hope for the guy yet?

Whew… mouthful today. ^^;

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:iconxxxxlupicidexxxx:
xXxXLupicideXxXx Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Totally called the trans GF! NAILED IT~!
Reply
:iconinhumancreator:
InhumanCreator Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2014  Student General Artist
Aiken.... you cold-hearted as*h*le
Reply
:icontaylorkota:
taylorkota Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014
commented on the last page with a theory ive had for a wile. now im glad to be told im right! ^-^ that being said, I feel sad for whats been going on
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:iconlolice-scarlet:
Lolice-Scarlet Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It pains me to favourite this page, but I have to if I want to have a complete collection on dA.  I can't afford to buy the comic in print for several reasons, so favouriting every page is the next best thing.
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:icondinomaster75:
Dinomaster75 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014
its just one head cannon after another.
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:iconradicaldanny:
RadicalDanny Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014
I really had a strong suspicious feeling for EXACTLY this scenario... XD
Reply
:icontreager-sama:
treager-sama Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Interface Designer
Whew, heavy stuff today... I had a feeling that Aiken had a bad experience along these lines, which is why he wouldn't talk about it. I want him to accept Rain so badly, but now I can see her instincts on how he would react, were accurate and justified. C'mon Aiken, be the good guy we all want you to be!
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:icontornadowraith88:
TornadoWraith88 Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013
Holy shit.
Reply
:iconreinahw:
ReinaHW Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013   Writer
I've purposely avoided relationships due to my being trans*, I'm already under a lot of stress and being in a relationship with someone would only make things worse.  I get hit on way too often though, very tiresome.
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:iconfairportfan:
Fairportfan Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013
Really serious relationships demand honesty.
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:iconfairportfan:
Fairportfan Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013
Called it.
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:iconabidrew:
AbiDrew Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013
I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!

I dimly suspected something from the commercial itself, actually, and then the phone call my mind was like "and now she's told him".  And I was right!

As for Aiken...  Well...  That's kinda hard to say right now.  Is he a total jerk and a bit of a bigot?  Yes.  Are all jerks and bigots necessarily permanent jerks and bigots?  No.  They actually can be cured.  They just have to want it for themselves.
Reply
:icondaotianzi:
DaoTianzi Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In response to ~dolphine64575, when it comes to most straight cisgender men, they don't exactly get it. I've talked to my cousins about sex, gender, orientation, & attraction, & they just stare at me like wtf! I wish otherwise, but you can't just expect people to be accepting. You can expect them to react rationally, which may seem irrational when what they're reacting to seems paradigm shifting to them, but perfectly normal to you.

Also, even though Aiken did technically "leave" Jessie, he still plans on marrying her despite her coming out to him. He may not be a complete bigot, he could just be facing some conflict between how he's seen the world 'till now & what he's seen in the world recently.

In response to ~lebt, I agree.
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:icondolphin64575:
dolphin64575 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
...I don't like Aiken. How can he just walk away from the woman he proposed to?
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:iconlebt:
lebt Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013   General Artist
I understand this sentiment... but on the opposite side of the same token... how could she not have told him sooner? Huge piece of dishonesty, whether she is post or pre op. Just my .02.
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:icondolphin64575:
dolphin64575 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, true...
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:icontenakitten:
TenaKitten Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Goodness!
I just browsed over some old pages and found something about Jessica, I totally forgot.
[link]
How ... superawkward leaving her because of that after such a public announcement.
And Jessie ... She was either super brave to draw attention like that or it was where she was getting caught in her own secret, seeing no way out but more and more lies.

That's so sad. :'( Really.
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:iconryu890:
Ryu890 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012
Anyone is redeemable...especially when they show remorse.

But...yeah. Its very easy to shout "You jerky Mcjerk face!" When someone explodes like that....but its not like the transperson is alone in their suffering.....
Reply
:iconhereru:
hereru Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You've just summed up my thoughts whenever a character in any piece of fiction makes a decision that's clearly "bad" or distasteful to most of the readers, but understandable given the circumstance (not necessarily right, but understandable) and readers demonize them for it. It's like no one wants to look at things from a different point of view. That, or almost no one seems to understand that just looking at a situation from someone else's perspective and realizing why they made the decision, for the sake of empathy, is not the same as endorsing that decision.
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:iconryu890:
Ryu890 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013
I'm acctually reminded of several villains of many games. Magus comes to mind, first of all. Followed by *spoiler tag*.
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:iconjilliannc:
JillianNC Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
Well said and I agree completely!
Reply
:iconfree-to-be-gee:
free-to-be-Gee Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The last few pages have been stellar. It's only been two days and already most of the talking points have been explored about the developments thus far. So, I'll just add that I love the way you tell Rain’s story.

Even when I think I know where you’re going, you never fail to give me something exciting to look forward to. Somehow you just keep making Rain better with each new page.

Thanks
Reply
:icondahoughtonuk:
dahoughtonuk Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
It's obvious who Aiken actually needs to talk to now. -Gavin. Gavin who will be sympathetic to Aiken being lied to and also sympathetic with Jessica's motives. Who also understands being attracted to a part of someone not being attracted to the other part. (Even if he isn't as repulsed as Aiken)

Even so as people say that might not be enough to help him get past this. Is this his attitude or is this due to the hurt?

If Jessica knew this was Aiken's attitude she should have left. If she didn't she should have told him. Jessica basically confirmed the worst of the rumours to Aiken. It's not fair on her. And Aiken's attitude is not fair on Rain.

The end of his statement. "I don't think I can do this again." seems weird. Suggests some conflict in what he's done.

One thing that does stand out. Aiken doesn't understand. And that is a big problem. Ignorance leads to fear, fear to anger, and anger to hatred.

But would Aiken ever be able to understand. Perhaps not, but if he can accept that would be a marked improvement.
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:iconfallenangel2002:
Fallenangel2002 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
..................................
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:icontetralove:
tetralove Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
This scene...
It brings up so many emotions in my life... T_T :heart:
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:icondahoughtonuk:
dahoughtonuk Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
From Aiken's point of view, he was lied to for a long time, by someone he trusted and believed he loved. I mean no offence by the next part but again Aiken's view:- Jessie, well he wasn't the person Aiken thought she was.

As much as people may not like his attitude, he didn't hurt Jessie physically - he left and went to his sisters. What he does need to do is talk about this. But you can see with the comments here on why he isn't.

My feeling is Aiken needs to talk to someone who understands how he's feeling, without judging him, but also understands Jessies point of view.
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:iconcrazychief:
CrazyChief Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
well this baffles me
Reply
:iconon2xsecretprobation:
On2XSecretProbation Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know how I'd react in his situation...I'd like to think I'd be more open minded but we never know until it happens to us ya know?

I think it is a difficult thing for someone to come to terms with but I don't think he is completely irredeemable...I think he needs to talk to someone for sure.
Reply
:iconnomorekittens:
nomorekittens Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
Hm.

I guess my only real worry is if that's all we'll know about the fiance. That she was stealth trans and that's her characterization. Do you plan on fleshing her out later?
Reply
:icondragon8writer:
dragon8writer Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
Mixed feels. He reacted badly - but it was kind of sprung on him... I'll be waiting until after he talks to Rain to make any real judgement. (In an ideal world, he'd force himself to buckle down and try to accept it; maybe even call up his ex and... see if there's anything there. But the world isn't often ideal.

The biggest question for me is whether he's just plain prejudiced, or whether he's simply still reeling from the revelation/trying to cope.
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:icon14bj337:
14bj337 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
A revelation this serious... there can be only one response: I must ink-dip my quill and comment with a fury not seen in far too many a moon!

Seriously, though, WOW. I know a lot of readers were expecting Jessie to be a transwoman, but until this page, I'd never abandoned the "Aiken knocked her up" theory. Even with what little we know about Jessie, this flashback scene is still intensely emotional. A truth she'd hoped to bury, brought up to the surface. Where Aiken had felt love, he could now only find disgust. A powerful bond, contorted and torn apart. In a sense, this entire interaction is somewhat reminiscent of Rain's confession to, and rejection by, Gavin. In both cases, she kept the truth from him, out of fear of rejection. When it finally comes out, he abandons her.

Gavin, however, didn't reject Rain because she is transgender - he rejected her because she had kept the truth from him, despite being his best friend. Now that he's gotten to spend more time (all of chapter 4) with the person whom Ryan became, he's built a new friendship with Rain upon the ruins of their old best-friendship. Aiken, on the other hand... while I have no doubt that he felt betrayed for not having been told the truth until that moment, it seems likely - based on his comments on this page, and the last - that he is disgusted with transgenderism itself. Perhaps it's just that the sudden breach-of-trust has made him unwilling to understand; perhaps he's redirected his anger toward Jessie-keeping-the-truth-from-him to Jessie-being-transgender, and by extent, transpeople in general. If so, he may just need time to sort out his feelings regarding Jessie. Or, maybe he has a deep-ingrained dislike of transgenderism, something that will take more than time to shake.

The next question: where will Aiken go from here? Will he cast away this horrifying suspicion about his on "brother"? Will he let it linger, haunting his interactions with "Ryan"? Will he bring it out in the open, and confront the sibling-in-question about it? Or will Rain (or someone else) reveal, intentionally or accidentally, the truth, forcing Aiken to face it? And what about Jessie? Will he be able to to accept her as she is, forgive her for keeping the truth, and ask her forgiveness as well? Or will he be unable to get over this revelation, and leave her "standing at the alter", so to speak? And why has everything I say become a question?

Aiken... I wanted to like you, I really did. But you're making it difficult. Right now, the ball's in your court. Will you give in to your demons of intolerance, and end up separated from those closest to you? Or will you ascend above those demons, and right the wrongs you've wrought?

(Guilty pleasure confession time, though: I kind of do want to see Aiken get angry at Rain, just so we can see Aunt Fara go completely Mama-Bear on his ass.)
Reply
:iconsuki-chan36:
Suki-chan36 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
Yay! I'm glad your super-long comments are back! I've missed reading those. Your guilty-pleasure confession quite literally made me laugh out loud. xD

Here's a question for you: If Aiken's intolerance is due to something deep-seated, what do you think caused it? Could it be something to do with the mysterious Flaherty parents, do you think? My theory is that it has something to do with Mr. Flaherty (Aiken, Kellen, and Rain's father, whose first name escapes me at the moment). It seems to me that Aiken really looked up to and respected his father while growing up, hence his prologue wish to "become a lawyer, like Dad". So if Mr. Flaherty was shown to be intolerant and phobic regarding transgenderism, perhaps Aiken picked up and emulated that behaviour, and still is.
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:icon14bj337:
14bj337 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
Hm... That explanation definitely sounds plausible. From the little we've heard about Rain's father, from Rain and Aunt Fara, it sounds like he was far from accepting of her gender identity. Aiken hasn't said anything about his father since the very first page, so we can't know for sure what he thinks of him at this point. If he did idolize his father at a younger age, however, then its likely some of the father's traits (including his intolerance) rubbed off on him, and lives on today.

Of course, I still think it's possible that Aiken's reaction to Jessie was caused by feelings of shock and betrayal, and that his current transphobia is derived from that interaction. Personally, though, I hope (not for Aiken's sake, but for the story's sake) that it's something more along the lines of your theory. It'd provide an opportunity for us to learn a bit more about Marcus (I believe that's the father's name) Flaherty, and it would force Aiken to face some inner demons.

Oh, and thank you for your comment! It's good to know that my slow, meandering train of thought has at least one regular passenger, heh heh.
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:iconhenx125:
henx125 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
dauuummm

You are good at this writing thing, Jocelyn :P
Reply
:iconsillyenglishknight:
Sillyenglishknight Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
Do you think you should tell them even if you don't pass and aren't fully out?
Reply
:iconxxwigglexbumx:
xxwigglexbumx Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I KNEW IT!
Reply
:iconblufire1992:
Blufire1992 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student Writer
whoa, didn't see that coming... this completely digs into my soul the same way brisingr did when Eragon was told the truth of his parents, If I get enough money this X-mas, I'm gonna see if Rain can be shipped to Canada
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:iconjocelynsamara:
JocelynSamara Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Professional Writer
No worries there. I can confirm: it can be shipped to Canada. ^_^
Reply
:iconblufire1992:
Blufire1992 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student Writer
okay cool... but if it's just to eastern canada no luck, because I live north of the northwestern states
Reply
:icondavey-the-6th-moon:
Davey-the-6th-moon Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student Writer
It's never too late for anyone to change. Aiken definitely has a love for his family so there is hope. But it's going to be a rocky road ahead in terms of redemption. Not only is he hurt from recent events but his bigoted perspective has made it a very self-centred hurt. He is not taking the time to understand what the other party is going through. I don't see him budging from this opinion any time soon so it will take quite a bit of fighting to get him to understand the other side of the fence.
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:iconhs-alcatraz:
HS-Alcatraz Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
i was not expecting this love how the story keeps you on your toes probably the best thing im reading on the web atm keep it up :3
Reply
:iconmelingitte:
Melingitte Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
I hear this sentiment from people often, but I feel like it's only half explained. When is a good time to tell a person you are having/interested in having a relationship with?
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:iconmortelkill:
mortelkill Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
this seem similar to when gavin learned about rain.

But i think teh main difference is that gavin was more shocked by having been fooled and even if unconfortable never had problem with transgender itself
Reply
:iconmidnightmusik14:
MidnightMusik14 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
What is a ciswoman?

a transwoman is one that was born male but decides to surgically become female? or... :? I've never understood the difference between them. And what is Ky then? >~<

I'm just curious because I've never understood.
Reply
:iconjocelynsamara:
JocelynSamara Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Professional Writer
Cis is essentially the opposite of trans. If a transwoman is a woman that was born physically male, then a ciswoman is one born physically female. In short, a ciswoman is a woman and a cisman is a man. Most people don't have any need to use this terminology though, so it's not uncommon for people to be unaware of them.

Kylie's situation is a little different. But according to the "flashing scene" with Gavin earlier this chapter, Kylie was apparently born physically female. As for whether we're looking at a transman or a ciswoman, even Ky doesn't know yet.
Reply
:iconmidnightmusik14:
MidnightMusik14 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
okay, so if a ciswoman is a woman and a cisman is a man, why don't we just call them woman and man? What transformation is being made to add the 'cis' in there?
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:iconathils:
Athils Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
There's also an element of oppression if transfolk are the only ones who need a prefix. Just calling non-trans men and women "men" or "women" without qualification implies that to be non-trans is "normal," or in extreme cases that cis-people's genders are "real," while to be trans is to be "abnormal" and trans-people's genders are "not real."

It would be kind of like having a discussion where sexual orientation comes in and referring to lesbian/gay/bi/queer people by their appropriate adjective and straight people just as "people." Does this reason for the distinction make any sense?
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:iconmidnightmusik14:
MidnightMusik14 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
Alright... I think I understand better? lol. I'm just curious. :) thanks!
Reply
:iconjocelynsamara:
JocelynSamara Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Professional Writer
You explained it WAY better than I did... ^^;
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