Given that half of the folks in the group have some sort of secret they need to keep, it might behoove them all to help Kylie develop a greater degree of tact. An improv course would doubtlessly do wonders.
This is pretty funny, but now i feel sorry for Kylie being forced into being Gavin's girlfriend. And then the pulling a Rudy thing is pretty funny as well. But this is getting really strange really fast.
I like how you had Gavin use the word yonder for such humorous effect, the word is practically dead in today's lingo. I admire your comic approach.
But I should offer a caveat.
It starts with words like "yonder", then you start using phrases like "come hither" and "go tither". Soon you find yourself pedantically obsessed with proper vernacular. Soon one becomes the epitome of sesquipedalian loquaciousness and are endlessly compelled to increase their breadth of their personal lexicon. Your conversations become inundated with words that bamboozle the plebeian masses and you are oft accused of comporting yourself in a patronizing manner. Which leads to truculent reactions and vicious ad hominem slurs. Your reactions turn caustic, you resent their rejection of your erudite vocabulary. You find yourself correcting their benighted verbiage at every opportunity.
Your fall from grace is consummate, you're beyond redemption. You've become.........A GRAMMAR NAZI!