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RAIN p130 - Out of Hand by JocelynSamara RAIN p130 - Out of Hand by JocelynSamara
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While Kylie’s stance on gender still isn’t 100% clear to us, today’s update shows that he’s on a quite different page from Rain. Whereas Rain probably would’ve kept her secret forever if she could, Kylie sees sharing the secret as being a load off his mind; as he is, he feels like he’s lying to his new friends. He never realized he passes so well. And while he likes that he does, regrettably, he seems ashamed of it too.

But… no matter how conflicted he is, it’s bloody hard to come out to people! Especially when your four new friends are all such completely well-adjusted people without gender or sexuality issues… or so Kylie thinks. And so the lies(?) continue.

But is he really lying to his friends? Or is he just lying to himself? In fact, is he lying at all?

Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
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SoManySpectrums Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2015
It is hard to come out in anyway when you feel like you don't have the specifics yourself. Coming out as 'I don't really know what I am, but I am definitely not that.' is hard.
treager-sama Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

I feel like Ky isn't sure yet, perhaps leaning towards androgyny for now.


I was personally like Ky when it came to 'outing myself'. I knew that it was going to come up, so why not just shout it to the heavens and be done with it? It is a gradual process though, as I am not crass enough to gather everyone I know in a room and just blurt it out. I have done so individually at appropriate times.

Ryu890 Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012
:) When I first accepted myself...I told EVERYONE I cared about. I wonder if that was a mistake....
UsagiKnight Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Again, I enjoy the "trans-man" view of things. Because I personally just don't feel the same about what guys are interested in, so seeing a genetic girls trying to pass as a guy is fascinating to me. Though I will never argue with the decision since if someone feels they will be happier as a guy than that is more important than why would you want to be a guy. After all, its not like I'm Anti-male in my views.

Okay, its fascinating that Rain is on his mind even though Rain herself is more interested with just passing than looking for dates. But than again Ky probably doesn't understand how much of a life commitment it is considering that when living with Heather/Anti-Fara he only lives in a very cross-dresser type life style rather it be a 24/7 thing. This obviously just leaves him confused and doesn't know what to do. Hopefully this experience will help him figure out some feelings and if he really wants to see him self as a guy.

Really enjoy that the internal monologue that made him pick a costume with out looking. If you read Kashimashi chapter 3 and it is still a classic ackward moment for trans people.
dolphin64575 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I like Ky's confusion about whether or not to come out. I occasionally feel like it should be one of the first things people know about me, just so it doesn't get awkward in a few months when they ask if I have a BF. But at the same time, it's a weird bit of just-met-you information, and labels can get in the way of stuff. I feel like Ky's just really gender fluid, feels like a girl one day, boy the next, or whatever.
BoiChick Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2011
I'm at least 87% sure he accidentally grabbed a bag that requires a bare chest. o_o; But that'd be cruel on your part, perhaps? XD
On2XSecretProbation Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not so sure this is just an issue of could be that Kylie is just very deep in character, you know? I know I've gotten way into character when acting or just trying to get in to a character I was writing's head...

It's not weird, it's an exploration!
Zomgkitty42 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
is it kind of bad that even i am crushing a little on Kylie i find him/her kind of cute.
14bj337 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
Darn it! Kylie picked the orange bag, when he really should have picked the orange bag!

Seriously, though, this page offers a window into Kylie's thoughts. If anything, Kylie's situation is even harder than Rain's, because he still has to grapple with his gender identity (whereas Rain has concluded hers). And the fact that he's attracted to Rain just makes things harder. Even though I said before that Kylie's probably terrified of being found out, I think he's even more afraid of NOT being found out. He's afraid that if he gets too deep into a friendship with any of them (especially Rain), that when the truth comes out, he'll be spurned. It'd be better to get rejected by new friends than by old ones. Still, admitting a secret is a very difficult thing to do. He dreads opening up. Like everything we dread, it just grows with time; yet in the moment, it's just so hard to overcome, that we give in to cowardice and ignorance, acting as if we won't need to face it, but knowing that we will. It's a Catch-22. Even though Heather may be villified for "outing" Kylie, she may in fact just be helping him, by telling others that which he is too embarrased, but needs, to say. Personally, I hope Kylie grows a pair (regrettably, pun intended) and comes clean to his new friends (and guarantee himself a position as the fifth (sixth?) main character!).

In the last panel, Maria seems to perform very much a non-role. What I mean, is, any of the four main characters could have said her line. I wonder how Kylie might have reacted differently, had the asker been Rain, or Rudy, or Gavin. Perhaps it simply reflects Maria's cheery and outgoing personality. More probably, though, it was just a case of one-of-them-has-to-do-it-so-the-story-can-go-on, and Maria drew the short straw.

Before I forget: this is a really good page. I love the pages that go in-depth with characters' thoughts and feelings, and this is the first such page since Chapter 5 began. I think I'm starting to like Kylie more and more. That's not to say that I didn't like him at first: rather, while at first, I would have been comfortable with him remaining a side character, I am now hoping that he becomes one of the main characters.
16bithero1995 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
I am your costume.
Avistew Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
So is there anyone in the comic who isn't interested in Rain? :P
greatpeople123 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2011
Rudy isn't. He's gay.
Musicallover1234 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Student Writer
Well this is an interesting page, Ky might tell that he's really a girl which would defiantly be an interesting addition to the story. My guess either Ky(Kylie) grabbed something girly or over manly. But it interesting to see how Ky reacts to these feeling that he has, it would be a fine addition to the so called well adjusted people that he is hanging out with :).
Undertaker972 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
lol this is pretty good, gotta wonder if Kylie will really tell them that hes really a girl?
Xallamax Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Student Digital Artist
I'm actually the same way as Ky, I hate keeping my condition a secret because I feel like I'm lying. At the same time, it is rather difficult to gauge how people will react to something like this. But when I hide, I feel like I'm not being genuine.
iccolo Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
thats deep
Werewolf-Hero Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
maybe he grabbed something overly manly like a biker or a sailor or a fireman that would be too good
YNot1989 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
AH HA! You said "he", when referring to Ky, transgendered, I win.
JocelynSamara Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Professional Writer
I've been saying "he" since the beginning. I'm just addressing him the way I would if I met him in real life. Since Kylie seems to PRIMARILY present as male, he gets to be a "he" (unless it's otherwise pointed out to me personally that he prefers to be called "she"). Technically, I'm not spoiling anything. I'm just trying to be as respectful as I can to the character as an "unknowing party".

That's just my personal code of respect on the matter anyway. ^_^
JillianNC Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
It is hard to come out to people. Unfortunately, the hardest part is often coming out to yourself. But...we get over it!
Nelekra Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
Awww I know that feeling so well :<. I like how it's unfolding so far :D
Animasword Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
It's nice to get some insight about Ky's character, and it's also pretty interesting to see a character who isn't as sure about who they are as the others are. I just hope Ky doesn't become the victim of some curel tragedy during the party.
LadySerena Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
Wow Ky, really?
SHarles25 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
I say that lie isn't an apropriate word, Ky just don't know the truth himself so we couldn't even say that.

and whatever is that costume I hope it's the right size if he doesn't want to reveal to much his identity =P
apsm Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
Calling it. 'He' picked out something drag queen-ish, right? I know it says mens costumes but still *shrugs*.
chihuahua0 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Student Writer
maruul Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
Thirded. Sweet Transvestite?
KingInYellowTatters Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
I don't know if it's possible to pick something out from his/her current position. S/he was specifically in the "men's costumes" section as we can see from the top of the page.
KingInYellowTatters Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
... bleh. I mean to say, that s/he can't have accidentally picked out something as described as "drag queen-ish" from his/her current position, as it's a mens selection.
maruul Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
I repeat: Sweet Transvestite, AKA Frank-N-Furter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Of course it's just as likely that s/he picked a costume with open/no shirt.
JocelynSamara Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Professional Writer
Unless of course some previous apathetic shopper picked up a costume they thought they wanted but changed their mind and put it back in wrong place!


That's... probably kinda reaching though, isn't it...? ^^;
coffinstufferd Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
Well there Goes the theory that he switches genders so fluidly without a worry! I love the third panel.
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Submitted on
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