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RAIN p.94 - The Wonder Drug by JocelynSamara RAIN p.94 - The Wonder Drug by JocelynSamara
(You probably know by now I can't help but post early at this time...)

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My best friend asked me this question over six years ago when I told him I wanted to transition. It took me off guard (probably as much as my revelation did to him), but as indecisive as I can be, I had my answer (more or less, Rain’s answer) very quickly.

I knew I wanted to use that question in this comic; it was and still is one of the most intelligent things I think I’ve ever been asked.

You might recall that just a few pages ago, I said, “if most transgendered people could just stop being transgendered, they would.” I maintain this stance. However, to “stop being transgendered” to the average transperson, would very likely mean that MtFs would just be women, and FtMs would just be men. To go on being the sex they were genetically forced into won’t do us any good.

For instance, I read this fascinating article a few years back (I wish I could remember the link). It was about a study, where they tried to hypnotize transpeople to make them not trans; in other words, to make them accept what they’re given. I don’t put much stock into hypnotism as is, but the perhaps seemed somewhat efficient on paper. The idea was to create a faster, safer, cheaper alternative to getting a sex change. Those who were successfully hypnotized, showed that an alarming majority of them either started to show signs of being transgendered again in a short time, or they fell into a terrible depression that they couldn’t describe; as though they were still deeply troubled by something, but couldn’t place why.

Okay, I promised myself I’d try not to get too preachy with this comic, so I hope these past few commentaries haven’t been too much. ^^;

Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
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JakeRulez17 Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2016
A study done in 2014 confirmed that transgender people really do have brain structures opposite that of their biological sex, due to certain genes that code for hormone receptors being present where they wouldn't be in cisgender people. It's not because of a defect, but simply random mutation during embryonic development.

It's similar to various forms of androgen insensitivity syndrome and accidental chromosomal replication, which result in the development of intersex people. Only here, it's localized to the brain.

So when someone says they feel like they were born in the wrong body, they're 100% right.

Once again, science is rules in favor of diversity.
Tradua Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
"My best friend asked me this question over six years ago when I told him I wanted to transition. It took me off guard (probably as much as my revelation did to him), but as indecisive as I can be, I had my answer (more or less, Rain’s answer) very quickly. "

Recently had something like this, but it was more due to asking myself that question.  Glad to know that other people reached the same answer :3
DreamsUnderStarlight Featured By Owner May 22, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Gavin's wonder pill is just as disgusting an idea as religious brainwashing that turns gay people straight (supposedly). Would he take a pill that makes him gay? No he wouldn't because to him hes normal. Rain thinks she's normal being a girl on the inside, just her body is wrong.
LightsolPhoenix Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2015
I've hated my body for many reasons; because it constantly hurts, and because I just hate myself sometimes.  But I can't even imagine how painful it must be to be stuck in a body that just plain feels wrong.
KeeferTEarl Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2015
I've had similar thoughts about my Asperger's Syndrome before (not sure if that relates to this, though). At this point, I don't think I'd be willing to get rid of my autism, because it's long since become part of who I am.
If they made a pill that made me no longer allergic to dairy, of course, is a different story!
InhumanCreator Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
hmm... so wouldn't want a pill that got rid of your asperger? everyone has their opinions, I also have asperger but I get treated like I' alien from another world or something,
KeeferTEarl Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015
I think it's more like, I have no idea what a non-Asperger me would be like. Someone once asked me "What's it like going to school with Asperger's", and I answered "I've never been to school without it, so how would I know?" Maybe fear of the unknown is also a factor, in my case.
dreisteine Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015
Hmmm... It took me a minute, but I got why that's your answer. That pill would essentially destroy you as you currently exist.

So, being the person I am, I must ask a follow-up question:
What if there was a pull that could somehow change you to your body's sex/gender, but without fundamentally changing your mind? A pill that defies logic to and all possibility to make your mind match your body, but without making you any less you. Would you take it?
InhumanCreator Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
that I would take, no painfull surgery and it goes in an instant,
Stevekobbs Featured By Owner Edited Dec 9, 2014
omg that last panel is it, that's it. that's the truth. that's how I feel.
Ebonsong Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014
Reading this, I wonder what people think about those not wanting to go either way in the binary gender. ie, the Other or Neutral. For me (who identifies as "other"), there's nothing to 'fix' towards one side or the other. Though in a ways, I'd like a physical way to opt out of the sex I was assigned at birth.
Lolice-Scarlet Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hypnosis can work, but it's not as simple as that.  It's hard to explain, but you technically have to let it work for it to have even the slightest effect.  Hypnosis is, as far as I'm aware, more or less words of encouragement most of the time.  So it makes sense that it wouldn't work, because there's nothing encouraging about being forced to live a lie.  Even if others don't view it as a lie.  Of course, I'm not the best person to explain anything, really.  So don't take my word for anything I just said.
treager-sama Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It's just WHAT we are. If you were male through and through, and someone waved a magic want and transformed you into a woman... wouldn't you do EVERYTHING in your power to return to who you truly are, inside? Some trans people, myself included, spent a significant portion of their lives (35 years) absolutely clueless to what they really were. Imagine going through that much of your life, not knowing who you truly are. You can deny it, you can stifle it, you can even try to ignore it... but you can't ever escape it. You are who you are, and for better or worse, you must inevitably face who you are.
Nedemai Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014  Student General Artist
I was asked this same question recently, and my response was pretty much the exact same.  It was a coincidence that I had read this not to long afterward (I've spent all day reading this comic).

My response to this question was that a pill like this would change who I fundamentally am, and that would be like death to me. I don't see anything wrong with who I am.
Stevekobbs Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014
Exactly, *I* would be dead. The pill wouldn't "fix" me it would kill me.
AbiDrew Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013
"or they fell into a terrible depression that they couldn’t describe; as though they were still deeply troubled by something, but couldn’t place why"

This!  This describes my entire life from the time I was MAYBE 8 at the oldest until just a coupla years ago.  I can't verify it to have started any younger than 8 because I honestly have no real memory even now of my most formative years.  I just know that my earliest memories (where I also remember what age I was) are around 8 and even then, I was deeply troubled by something but couldn't place why.  It'd get worse and ease off in an almost cyclic pattern, but it was still ever persistent.  I actually even managed to convince myself I WASN'T being depressive during the eased off periods...  But...  Looking back now after finally freeing myself...  All I really knew then was anger and depression, just at varied levels.  I even know true despair.  And trust me, it ain't pretty.

Thing is, I did it entirely by myself, to myself, and broke free from it entirely by myself, from myself.  Sounds kinda confusing, I know, but it's exactly the way it went.  Self-hypnotism IS real.  All hypnotism does is program the conscious mind to perform certain responses to certain stimuli while preventing the subconscious mind from interfering.  That subconscious block is the source of the "deeply troubled" feeling and also why you can't place why.  WHY is in the subconscious, and is being blocked.

Some people take to hypnotism better than others, and for those, it'll last until it's broken.  For some it'll naturally deteriorate on it's own without consistent reiteration.  The ones where it naturally deteriorates are the ones that start showing signs of tg again in that article.

And when a part of the subconscious actually takes an active part in the constructing and maintaining of the program residing in the conscious and in blocking another part of the subconscious...  Which is what happened in my case...

Someone recently tried telling me I had no idea how powerful my mind is (someone who self-identifies as being "in-between" and insists there's no such thing as full transsexuals, only men, women, and "in-betweens"...  But I know EXACTLY how powerful my mind is.  I also know without a single doubt in my mind, heart, or soul, that I am a woman.  Heart, mind, and soul.  My stupid body can say whatever my stupid body wants to say, and my conscious mind can be tricked into saying things that aren't quite true as well, but the fact is, deep inside me, at the very core of my being, resides a woman.  End of story.

A few years ago I dropped out of college when I came face to face with true despair and still, even then, had no idea why.  A couple years ago I went on a deep soul search within myself with the aid of a very mild opiate herb.  I had no idea then that I was in fact a woman...  But at the end of the search when I finally found myself, my true self...  Wow.  What a revelation it was.  And it changed everything.

I'm now transitioning...  Very early in the process, but when I came to from that long nightmare there was no doubt in my mind that I had no other choice.

I'm a big fan of that question myself.  I actually turn it around on people who seem to think I should do just that.  I already took that magic pill when I was very VERY young.  And it nearly killed me.  So no.  I wouldn't.  At least, never again.  That's one of those things you only ever do once and then you know better.  Though in most conversations with people when they ask it, I say that I'm not sure I would.  Would you?  Implying they take a pill that'd turn them into a complete opposite of what they identify as and effectively kill their identity.  Or even, in cases when dealing with those bigoted genderqueers who seem to believe only cis-male , cis-female, and genderqueer exist, just whatever "sex" they were born with.  Because that's what that question boils down to.  Would you effectively kill yourself in order to make a completely different person just to appease others?
Togekab00m Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013
I love this page.
Ninjoon Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2013
Well this is kinda what i'm feeling. Good thing i'm doing something about it and trying to make this maybe possible via the study of biotechnology just you wait ill figure it out !
JocelynSamara Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Professional Writer
"i'm doing something about it and trying to make this maybe possible"

Actually, I'm a little confused. When you say you want to make "this" possible, are you referring to Gavin's wonder drug or something else?
Ninjoon Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2013
I am biotechnology student and I am theorizing about how to do it and I believe it would be possible with a combination of gene therapy, embryonic stem cells, and hormones. I don't believe in wonder cures like a pill since it wouldn't be specific enough for everyone. This is the genes and the expression of genes we see it is specific to each individual. If this is to be made possible we would need to expand our knowledge of stem cells and human DNA transformation. We are currently only looking at bacteria and other animals cells in the research since there are a lot of ethical barriers. Gene transformation i currently an imperfect technique since only some of the bacteria absorb the new DNA with the traditional method so we will have to look for new methods. That is why a specially designed Virus could be useful to transfer the added DNA.

When I am talking about DNA I mean the last strand of the X-sex chromosome derived from your mother since she would be the closest female relative.
 Embryonic stem cells are the cells which have yet to be told which kind of cell it is going to be call it the blank cell, so it could be anything and what it is going to be is chosen by the genes and hormones.
I believe with some perfection and advancement in this field of science transgendered people could get a normal life of the opposite gender without any differences to be seen. However it will also bring about a new age of trans humanism where humans would modify their body to have all sorts of extra attributes. An age of augmentation. It is not far fetched but it is far from fully hatched.

Remember this is just a theory and I might be hoping a little too much to think clearly but I will certainly look into it.
SoniaRitsu Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
This is honestly pretty inspiring. I'm hoping to transition from female to male at some point in my life. That you for drawing this.
Ryu890 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
*sighs* A difficult
As much as the idea hurts me to even consider....I feel obligated to acctually consider it.

If it was just me that was affected, then heck yes I'd throw this miracle pill away and still go through transition. But thats just it though...

Its really hurting my family. Even if it IS just their own close-mindedness, wouldn't that be the selfless thing to do? Take said pill and make everyone happy?

But feels almost like an abomination...such a pill that can change someone's entire being so reminds me of The Giver....when they started giving children pills that kept those nasty 'dreams' away.
Epzi10n Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012  Student Digital Artist
This. So much this page of the comic. This is what people don't understand most of the time, and this is how I feel about myself. No matter how much pain I am in, I cannot just give up or give in to something to make things "easier". I wouldn't be me.
Ryu890 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012

Its almost hard to say. I know that I personally believe that such a pill would almost be an abomination, and I REALLY hesitate to use that word, given how often its used to describe people like us....

But I honestly don't know what my altered-self would say. If say, the pill was forced down my throat, would I then be grateful? What if it WAS forced down...would I then be able to transition anyways? Just how powerful is someone's spirit?

I used to take Ritalin....and Strattera....because I was hyperactive, and spoke out of turn alot. But it made me a zombie....I hated it...

Eventually, I stopped taking it. I learned to control myself on my own....
KaavelBaelithar Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Wow. This page has summed up exactly how I feel on the matter, but have never been able to put into words. I just stumbled on this comic today, but I just want to say how much I love it so far. Thank you so much for creating this and putting it out there. It's brightened my day and has made me feel so much better about everything I've been going through myself. :)
Boom-The-Guardian Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2011
Imagine that you were a slave, and there was a drug that would make you enjoy being a slave. Would you take it?

Why not? It's easier, faster, safer, and cheaper than trying to break free or revolting.

That's essentially the question that you are presenting, Mr. I'm-just-having-a-hard-time-processing-this.
SuddenlyPeaches Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011
Just wanted to say it's pretty deep. Really good.
UsagiKnight Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
This question was brought up by a family member (or even this same wording), but it was found in my own research. Basically my thought on it was "than who would I be?"

It really is a scary thing. Especially for this age. You grew up for fifteen years dreaming about that fantasy life you longed to have with the friends you grew to love and cared for you, with a career you longed to enjoy doing. In the end, it wasn't a gender question for me, it really was an identity question. Like if you weren't the girl you are now, you wouldn't have made friends with certain people you probably care for. You might not have even considered getting into comics and your view on videogames would probably be different. Even all the hard work you put into your job wouldn't be the same. Becasue everything done in the past twenty years was an outlet for anxiety. and even a sword against self-doubt. It is my belief that this cure would end up being a curse if it makes everything you have done void. And for you, being Jocelyn C. D. was that one constant that even helped you get through to the day, and gave you the reassurance that nothing is wrong. I don't know how it turned out, but i hope it makes sense to you.

And I didn't mind the preachyness of the past few pages and your abstract commentary. Its all basically the LittleLynn I became a fan of complete with a story that forces us to really think as well as enjoy. Also enjoy the circular look of the panels, in someway it does even out Rain and Gavin in a way on an emotional level.
unit1138 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011  Hobbyist
Epiphany:Society wants to change people like Rain into normal boys (portrayed as evil). While people like Rain want to change themselves into normal girls (portrayed as good). Remaining in a current gender is called "bad" because it denies part of the person, but the same can be said about switching. Its the struggle of the forces inside us (good/evil, boy/girl, Ect) that makes us who we are. To go to either extreme is a salvation but also a damnation.
MicronConvoy Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011
I remember that conversation. I gotta say dude, it certainly takes some balls to do what you're doing. Keep it up kid! I'm still in your corner!
whitefox00 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I've been asked a very similar question before: if you could become a normal girl, but without any of your thoughts or memories (without your soul, might be another way of putting it), would you do it? It's kind of the same principal. There is some core human being underneath all of the physical stuff, and it's hard to imagine being any other way.

The reason there can be an alienation between body and mind (in my opinion) is because of expected gender roles and what is considered 'normal'. As biased as I may be because I all ready -do- hate my male body, I think if I was treated just the same as any other female (and if everyone was treated based on their gender, and not sex) starting from when I was born, I wouldn't care as much, if at all what I looked like. But because there are set standards of 'maleness' and 'femaleness', and because gender is tied to sex in that regard, it's impossible to act 'normal' because my body does not match my actions (or thoughts).

But an alienation from the mind... how could I (or you, or anyone) be separated from their mind (or soul, or whatnot), and still be anything but just another body? That ties together both questions. Rain would not want to take the pill, because she would lose herself, basically.

Sorry for my little spiel, there. I really appreciate what you're doing with this comic, especially these last two pages. Your commentary really adds to it. It would be great if there was a way to reach a larger community of open-minded people about this, instead of just the queer community, which I imagine would be most of the readership. I'm sitting here, very, very happy because of what I've just read, because you've echoed my inner thoughts perfectly. But as poignant as it is, I'm not sure how large the impact will be, because of who is reading it.

Oh, and on page 90, there is no link to page 91. I noticed this on page 90, but I'm commenting here to avoid filling your inbox with yet another message. ;)
fakenameyfakenamey Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2011
If there was a pill you could take that could turn you into a penguin, would you take it?
NoraVulpes Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
^ This. Oh-so-very-much this entire comic.
chitttick1 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011
Not preachy at all. :) Actually I really like it when you write large commentaries, because it seems to spark really interesting conversations.

I'm not trying to take up space for advertising, and I'm sorry if I do, but I just made a FB page called "Truths and Realizations" to talk about just about anything you've noticed or realized about practically anything (even if it's just your veiw on what came first, the chicken or the egg). I just think about lots of things at random times so I thought the page would be good, but I'm currently the only member ^^;
Kirakawa Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011
Not preachy at all. =) This is actually VERY old question asked a very long time ago. In some case it can be almost rhetorical. Why? Cause anybody knows about the end effect of that pill. Mayby you can gain a lot of happiness? That pill actully gives you one way to freedom. Same like HRT+SRS and stuff. And I personally think that it's even slightly effective - it helps you to keep your body in more healty state etc...
Some TG ppl tend to draw their childhood in black paint only because of that problem thats why they don't want to... betray their past fight for survival I suppose. It's really a hard decission but I don't find here a part for betrayal (any kind of it) of yourself.
hotstud1228 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011
You are amazing. Keep doing what your doing. If you ever decide to do one about a FTM let me know. This is amazing and you are doing a great job. I'm proud of you sweetie and I'm so glad that there are people supporting the younger generation and hopefully we'll never have to live our adult lives in bodies that don't belong to us.
Xallamax Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Student Digital Artist
That seems like such an odd question to ask, being transgender isn't a sickness of the mind, though some might interpret it as such...

One of the first things budding social psychologists (and psychologists of any type) learn is that insanity, for lack of a better word, is a matter of degree. If a mental problem is so great that in endangers the sufferer or those they associate with. Then, to an extent, it is insanity.

Under this model, no one who is transgender has a legitimate mental problem, the problem is physical defect.

...I'll get off my soapbox now. I wonder where all that was pent up...

I'll blame the mother, it worked for Freud, right?
chitttick1 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011
The other day I was doing my chores and cleaning the living room, and one of those commercials for "Sex Change Hospital" came on. And what my dad said really surprised me. He's like one of the nicest people you can meet most of the time, but he said "This show is pointless, these people should just realize they're gay and they think they're like this because they are mentally ill," or something like that at least. But that had to the meanest (transicist?) thing he's ever said. It's really weird when someone you know seems to have a completely different opinion than you expected, especially such a negative one. I'm not trans, but I never once thought they were mentally ill, nor do I think that now either.
Xallamax Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Oi. That's a depressing reaction. I couldn't imagine sleeping with a man... well, I could, but I don't enjoy doing so very much.

Your dad would benefit from meeting transgender lesbians and transgender gays ^^
chitttick1 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2011
:) Yeah he probably would, but I seriously wasn't expecting him to say something like that, it was really weird to hear from him.
Xallamax Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Addendum, because I just read the author comments.

In my ever-so-humble opinion... if there is anything worth being preachy about, that would be it. That being said, there is a fine line between preachy and informative, and you, my friend, have not crossed it.

Good that you went for it though, better to ask forgiveness than permission yes? :3
HiSenshi Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I've heard of wishing for the opposite end of that 'wonder drug' idea being asked...and the answer I've always heard is an emphatic 'YES!', no matter what the cost.

~ Hi-chan <3-
sammichan83 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011
thank god noone as tried that line on me yet.
TheTGArtist Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
For me, that question is equivalent to "Would you take a pill that makes you a different person?" :confused:

BTW, I'm loving this comic so much, and even more with each page that gets posted! ^^
Venathil-Matura Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011
It's almost the same answer i gave to a friend a short while ago
Animasword Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Two things.

1) I wouldn't worry about being too preachy, that tends to only happen when writers either speak from ignorant generalisations (which you clearly don't) or forget that they're writing a story and turn their work into a series of lectures with plot elements attached, and so far everything has been in character and has made sense in context, so you should be fine from this point on.

2) This whole 'magic drug' question actually remind me of a plot element from Tales of Rebirth. Bascially one of the heroes is given a choice (within a dreamscape) where he is given the choice of using a light that would make everyone the same race, meaning that racial tensions would vanish instantly, but the hero refuses saying that all individuals are unique and the differences that people can't accept wouldn't disappear if everyone was the same race, hence why we have to focus on what we have in comman. True it's more about racism than transgenders, but there are still some similarities.
Nelekra Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011
This is such a powerful tone.. I love it! ad it's so damn true too!
oOKidaOo Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011
i actually have a close friend who was a "boy stuck in a Girls body". he kept it hidden for so many years...but as soon as he came out he was surprised that we all accepted him with open arm :')

also! keep up the great work with rain! its really an amazing comic that i cant wait to see more of!
jocaypa Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011
I know one of the many possible answers for this question, but still: What do you think it makes you be transgendered? Because there are a lot of people out there who couldn't care less about their gender, so i don't think the "There's something wrong in here" feeling is held by everybody in Earth...
chihuahua0 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Student Writer
For some reason, Rain looks more on-model than Gavin for the last few pages.
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