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July 5, 2011
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RAIN p.92 - Burden by JocelynSamara RAIN p.92 - Burden by JocelynSamara
(Very early. But this may be the only chance I have to be online today, so I'll take what I can get.)

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Here’s a fun fact that a lot of folks don’t realize - or at least, won’t accept - about transgendered people: for most of us, if we could just NOT be transgendered, we would. Although I hesitate to call it an entirely horrible experience in every way, it IS painful, troublesome, lonely and just generally unfortunate to have to be like this.

I’ve heard a lot of cisgendered people who seem to insist that we can just turn it off and stop being transgendered at any time (not much different from the argument that “being gay is a choice” really). But if someone’s never been in a situation like that or had such feelings, how can they make a claim like that and call it fact?

I mean, you wouldn’t trust someone’s opinion on a movie if they never saw the movie, right?

Just some food for thought, I suppose.

Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
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treager-sama Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Hobbyist Interface Designer
Absolutely agree... if I could have been born a AVERAGE CIS-GENDERED FEMALE... then I would have been 100% happy with that, and my life would have been much simpler up to this point.
tucraz Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2013  Student Traditional Artist

I love your statement:
I mean, you wouldn’t trust someone’s opinion on a movie if they never saw the movie, right?

I've had that 'Gay is a choice' stuff crammed down my throat all my life by all the straights. And all my life I fought the attraction I felt to many different people, the opposite sex being only one of the genders. I fought it. The only choice I made was to finally stop fighting something as natural to me as my height or hair color. So, yeah, I'm not listening to anyone anymore who hasn't read the actual playbook.

Wiinner159 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2013
Description's right a non-trans like me wouldn't really understand what it's like to live the life trans do. But for me I feel that although I'll never truly understand why, it shouldn't mean I shouldn't at least try, I mean I've always wanted to be a person who doesn't care if another person's gay, lesbian, transsexual, etc.... and treat them all the same as a human being, which for me is a way of saying to give the person a chance before judging or any of that crap based of stereotypes or what was claimed to be true by someone who may not know the truth
Fairportfan Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013

The question of whether a non-trans person can truly understand what it's like to be trans (or a straight person appreciate what it's like to be gay) puts me in mind of the punchline of the old joke, where the Pope is standing on his balcony, declaring that contraception is forbidden, and a housewife in the crowd below hollers:

"'Ey!  You no play-a da game, you no make-a da rule!"

hereru Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree. As a cisgendered, heterosexual person, I can never truly know--and therefore should never pretend to know--what the life experiences of a gay, lesbian, or transgendered person are like. Anyone who pretends that they can know, despite having never "been there" is just being ridiculous without realizing it.

The most that I could hope to offer is sympathy, and I wouldn't dream of being so presumptuous as to assume that I could empathize, or pass judgement.

Some people just need a reality check, and perhaps a healthy dose of respect and tolerance.
Ryu890 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
*sighs* Its very easy to make such calls about things you don't understand. Just two days ago I got told that my transgenderism didn't exist because I couldn't "Logically explain it." This coming from a mother who loves her children, believes in God, and continually try's to enforce clear logical fallicies (I am the Mom, therefor I am right). It was bizarrely ironic...but it hurt nonetheless.

But I'm ranting. XP
Ryu890 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
I can't be normal. "Normal" isn't me. I can't sacrifice who I am, in my attempt to be who I am!
Ryu890 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
*shakes head* Really....this has been an issue for me. When I say I'm 'weirdly weird', I mean I'm weird among weird people.

I believe I'm transgendered for a reason, as opposed to being a 'normal' girl.

I wasn't upset my entire life. I just...gender didn't matter to me when I was young. Like, at all. All that mattered was video games....they were all I talked about. All I thought about. >_< It wasn't healthy, but it was my escape from much more pressing issues.

I've felt this way ever since I got out of there though. Ever since I started really interacting with society.

I guess..... *sighs* I'm not a typical trans-girl. And somehow....I always have this irrational fear that I won't be accepted among trans-circles, because I don't have those same exact feelings that are the 'norm' for trans-girls. >_<
UsagiKnight Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
That is the truest thing ever to say about people like us.

Being the opposite gender really isn't that important to us as much as the feeling that we want to be normal. And in some way feel like we belong. No different than how natural girls feel out of place if they suffer from an estrogen deficency. It is discouraging to know things need to be "done" before you can really feel natural in your own skin because of a natural fluke that happened upon birth. But at the same time I can see what people mean that you can stop being transgender. But the only way that can possibly work is if you are able to learn to cope with the body you have rather than replacing the feelings you already have. Even though its easy to just live with the body we are given, at the same time we can never fully erase our feelings. So yeah, out of all the people that wishes us to be normal, we are probably the ones that want it the most.

I also agree that dispite Gavin's desire to help, it is true that the fear sometimes overwhelms our natural reasoning towards our special ones. Do we want to be ourselves, or do we want friends that can love us. It really is a scary thought thinking we can't have both. But sometimes it happens and it sometimes causes us to suffer because we rather not be alone. It really is a burden for all us. And sometimes that will also cause people to sto no matter the pain.

Nice layout with a simple back and fore relation. It works well since this really is like a argument type of page with Gavin on one side and Rain on the other. Thus emphasizing the burden within the page.
Jay-Nomis Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2011
This is a quote I once used in a short story based around some events in my real life... The person who said the line in the story and who said a similar line in real life was myself... I just don't remember what the real line was.

"I believe a person is normal only if the act like the person they feel they are. Changing your personality to fit what others expect of you is weird. You are who you are, regardless of what the world thinks of you. If your gay or bi or transgendered then that is your normal and you should be the you that you are deep inside your heart no matter what."

and that saying fits with my life beliefs... Those that try to pretend to be something their not just so others won't make fun of them are the odd ones... the ones that act on what they feel inside are the ones that are truly normal.

Sorry for the rant... This story just makes me remember some good friends...
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